her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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