dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
