I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
