This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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