i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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