I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
