Well apparently he's into motor boating.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
