Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize