One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize