I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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