if you like me you must not know who I am
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
