you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Actions speak louder than pants.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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