just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
