So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
