why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
