he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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