Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
