so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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