I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
