You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
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He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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