Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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