I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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