today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
