That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
