I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
