Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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