dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
