So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize