I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
