no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
