it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
