i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
