everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have feelings that need drinking.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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