my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize