You made me cry and you don't even care
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
from now on my penis is your penis
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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