My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
