She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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