I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
