Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
