How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
