Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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