I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
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