matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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