i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
