God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
