Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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