I heard we made out
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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