I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
