my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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