Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
