i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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