anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
