i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
