He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
