i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
