it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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