he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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