It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize