An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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