so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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